The Things We Don't Talk About

As I look at the areas of struggle for Middle School (and High School) students, and the areas of silence for the church, I am seeing a disturbing amount of overlap.

• cutting/self-injurious behavior
• self-image/personal identity
• sex
• pornography
• dating
• drugs and alcohol
• homosexuality (currently realizing)

I look at that list and I look at my teaching list, and a weird feeling of disconnect hits me. I think of the last year of sermons I've heard in the main service, and I take another blow of dissatisfaction. It seems like the solutions we as the Church have come up with to these problems are to teach on them once a year and move on. Are we trying to combat the never-breaking messages of the media, peers, and celebrities with a 3-week series?

I've decided to change my approach to teaching on these issues. I will touch on pornography, cutting, drugs and alcohol, and more in every lesson I teach. I will work them into small group discussion questions. I will make these specific issues part of my vocabulary more than the usual Christian jargon of "discipleship," "saved," "pressing in," and other weird Sunday school sayings.

The Middle School students that are part of this ministry will know what the Bible says about these issues: not because of a once-and-done series, but because of the regular, purposeful discussion of the way these issues relate to God, our worship of him, and how he has designed and desires us to live.

This will not be easy. I want to work both smarter and harder to make this meaningful, not repetitive; relevant, not dogmatic; convicting, not churching; encouraging, not hindering.

Will you help me?

The 2-year Cycle

Longevity pays off anywhere you work, but especially in Middle School Ministry.

For the past five years I've been bumbling through lessons and series, going back and forth between creating my own and adapting bought series, all the while trying to develop a solid two-year cycle of teaching. After five years, I finally repeated a series. And it was fantastic. Here are some reasons I love teaching off of a well-built two-year cycle in Middle School Ministry.

I have a plan. If a parent asks me what's going to be taught, I can give them the outline for 2 years. When I think of a topic that should be taught, I can visually see the best time of the year to put that into the cycle. I very rarely suffer from the "What am I going to teach next week?" syndrome.

My lessons get better each time. Instead of focusing on WHAT to teach, I can focus more on HOW to communicate it. I don't have to figure out the 3 points from this passage, I just have to refine and tweak it to make those 3 points stick better.

Great ideas stay great. So many times I come up with a "great ideas" that flops, simply because all my time was spent writing lessons. When teaching in a Middle School cycle, the lessons remain priority, but more time is freed up to make that great idea come out great for the students.

It takes a long time to know what Middle School students need to hear, and it takes longer to put it together in some semblance of order. But once you get there, you'll thank yourself for hanging in there. And even though your students will likely never thank you, you're making the time for them that much better.

Mixing it up...

I took some advice this week to try and get out of the message rut. I combined the random thoughts that I typically jot down on a notepad with my love for sticky notes.

We are headed into our 2nd week of Crossover's own version of HSMs HAPPY Series, a look at the Beatitudes. A great way to get Middle School and Jr. High students to think about true happiness.

I had a lot of thoughts for this week, but no clear way of arranging them. I decided to jot down individual thoughts on sticky notes, and then sort them into a clear communication flow. Worked super well, check it out!

Pre-Fall To-Do List

Speaking of things to do in order to launch a new year of Middle School Ministry, here's my to-do list for the fall:

• Inform Sunday school teaching team on how to use the new Grapple curriculum.
• Arrange and price books for our new student book store.
• Attain equipment for our new student coffee area.
• Print, frame, and hang about 40 ministry pictures in the Mill.
• Get out September's parent newsletter.
• Finish developing the opening series for Tuesday night program
• Ask more people to join our small group leaders staff
• And some other stuff. Yikes

Middle School Ministry

This Spring I reserved a copy of Scott and Marko's new book, Middle School Ministry: a comprehensive guide to working with early adolescents. 

I'm 3 chapters in and love it. I wish there was more time in the day and less things on my to-do list. 

I look forward to giving a full review next week sometime.

Retreat in Review

We had a great time at Camp Orchard Hill the other weekend. After some time to recoup and think back on the weekend, this is how I boil it down from a Middle School/Junior High perspective:

Worship Band: C While they did a great job, they were at a level that was much deeper than where the Middle School students were at. Songs were too slow/repetitive, without the elements of simply exciting and getting kids pumped to be at camp.

Speaker: B Did a great job illustrating stories from the Bible and bringing them to life. However, his messages were always long, and lacked any kind of visual element such as PowerPoint or videos. Towards the last session, a lot of the Middle School students would start to disengage as soon as he started, simply because they knew he was going to only talk for 40 minutes. 

Meals: A- I always love the food there. 

Free Time: A Good mix of free time and organized fun time. There's enough options of things to do during free time that no Middle Schoolers were bored, and they didn't have enough time to get into any serious trouble.

Curfews: B+ Set at good times, but could have been better enforced...mainly in my cabin. They did not sleep the first night (which led to peace and quiet the second night).

Organized Group Activities: A The COH Staff has their fingers on the pulse of "how kids have fun" and did an excellent job of providing a variety of games (from mental to physical) that every student could plug into.

Conclusion: A fantastic weekend for many, a fun weekend for all. This was a mixed (Jr. and Sr. High) retreat, and might be one of our last. While the Sr. high students were pushed harder than usual, this left some of the Middle Schoolers behind. 

Awesome idea from NYMC in action

Tim Schmoyer gave us an idea in one of NYMC Brown Bag Lunch Seminars. We're using twitpic and 12seconds to post updates from camp for parents! Check it out on our Student Ministry Website.

Retreat time!

I came into the office to do all the last minute things before our weekend retreat, and found that there is really nothing for me to do right now. That's a good feeling: I get an A for ministry preparedness.

Unfortunately, I still have to pack, but can't until all my socks and underwear get done in the dryer. Not such a good feeling. I get about a C- for personal preparedness. Better luck next time.

Short Week Summary

After the NYMC and before our Student Ministry Winter Retreat...this is a short week, and this is how we managed:

• TO DO LISTS: we spend so much time making to do lists, but it's the only way to make sure that we don't miss anything or anyone.
• DON'T DO THE SMALL THINGS: I know not everyone has this option, but we've made it a point to delegate things like insurance forms and what not to volunteers.
• DON'T DO SOME OF THE BIG THINGS: we've allowed our intern and other volunteers to take a couple of the big items off our plate as well. Cabin lists, check-in, and our After Party.
• THINK AHEAD: Our goal was to get almost everything done for Winter Blast before we went out to the NYMC, and we accomplished that.

Can't wait for the retreat, and maybe even some down time afterwards!

NYMC Highlights

So far so good here at the NYMC. Hilarious stuff, amazing freebies everywhere you look, and the content of the sessions is even good!

Here are some Friday highllights that found their way into my Moleskine:

• Everyone of my volunteers is a better youth worker than me. I give my title away. - Doug Fields.
• Whatever your values are, you have to push them down into your youth ministry. Model them. Reward them. Praise them. - DF
• What parents aren't up on (informed of), they'll be down on. - DF
• The greatest poverty is thinking about yesterday and tomorrow, because you don't exist. - Braddigan

And many more. Off to a lunchtime Media Workshop.

Rugby discipleship

I saw something cool last night.

I help coach the local high school rugby team. Rugby being not as popular in the US, every year we have to start from the basics and teach the newbs how to play, starting from how to handle the ball. I've been working with the forwards, getting into scrumming down.

Monday, our first day, I showed all the new players how to scrum down by letting the returning players form a scrum. I then tried to teach each one of the new players their new position, where your head and shoulders go, where to bind on, etc. After about an hour, things were still looking ugly.

Yesterday, our second day, I took a new approach. I mingled in the returning players with the new players. Each returning player had a newb, and he showed them how to bind, where to keep your head, etc. Within ten minutes, we had a pretty good looking scrum.

Discipleship should look the same. Instead of trying to teach new believers all the basics, doesn't it work better to pair them with another believer that will walk with them and give them little tips along the way?

This year we're trying something different for our end-of-the-year series in the Jr. High Ministry. I have always tried to do a "last hoorah" kind of night, in which I give all my advice to 8th graders as they go on to high school, and try to give some tips to the 7th graders, as they move up. This year, for the month of May, each 8th grade small group will run the show. Everything from the lights to the lesson. I'm anxious to see what things they will have to say that I leave out. It's going to be a great way to end the year.

Have you ever done something like this with Junior Highers? What was the response? Pros and cons?

Prepping for the NYMC

It's Wednesday, and we're driving out tomorrow for the NYMC in Columbus. A good 7 hour drive with me, our Youth Director, and one of our interns. This week and last week have been heavy on prepping for our Winter Retreat, which is the following weekend, as well as all of our other weekly stuff. We don't want to miss a beat. So here's a quick list of what we've gotten done up until this point.

• Winter Blast cabins are set
• Registration bracelets have been made
• Recap DVDs covers are being put together as I type
• Outlines and videos for next Tuesday are complete
• Sunday school teachers are prepped
• Prayer base has been contacted with prayer list
• Transportation is lined up for NYMC and Winter Blast
• List of Simply resources to buy while at NYMC (hopefully at a discount) has been made
• Extended personal prayer times
• Lunch materials and snacks have been bought for NYMC road trip

And here's a list of things that I still have to do.

• Get Winter Blast check-in setup finalized and needs to the admin team
• The dishes
• Clean out my car (I don't like to leave a mess while I'm away)
• Do laundry and pack

It's always a good day when the "DONE" list is longer than the "TO DO" list. See you at NYMC!

Peeling Oranges

A typical afternoon after lunch will find me at my desk, sitting back in my chair, casually peeling an orange as I skim an article online or review a lesson plan. Today, however, things went all wrong...

My orange wouldn't peel. You've had those oranges, right? The peel just doesn't want to come off, and you end up tearing into the flesh of the orange and dripping juice all over and everything gets sticky. Instead of relaxing at my desk, I had to move operations to the office kitchenette and eat over the sink, spitting out surprise seeds all along the way.

And I was reminded how life is reflected in this. I often times go into auto pilot with ministry and life, until I come across a needy student or a teaching topic that kicks me into full manual mode. And I'm there right now. The current teaching series we're in is not one that I can just breeze through. I'm realizing that every point needs to be re-evaluated to get it past the point of my usual Christian jargon challenges.

...and it's starting to get sticky. It's pushing me spiritually. In different areas then I'm pushing students, but pushing me nonetheless. So I'm shifting gears constantly; changing the standard operating procedures; increasing communication with all parties involved; and doing everything possible to complete the operation to full effectiveness.

Ministry can be messy sometimes...and is always messy when mixed with life. But then again, ministry without life isn't really ministry, anyway.

Confessions of Mandatory God-Moments

It was one of "those weekends" this weekend. There was extra extra prep work for weekend services. Both sides of the family were in town for the long weekend. We had to have some plumbing work done at the house, which meant giving up most of Monday to wait for the plumber...and I didn't have any of my office materials with me that I needed for midweek. 

All of that leads up to this moment, 20 minutes before volunteers arrive for our Jr. High Ministry night...and I just finished getting ready. I was able to throw together a program in a day, but know that I can't expect much results from my efforts. 

This is where the tug-of-war in my mind grows: 

• I hate this feeling, because I feel completely unprepared. 
  
• I love this feeling, because I am so dependent on God.
  

I know that God lead me to this topic weeks and months ago, but putting together the actual message the day-of doesn't cut it in my mind. And so I am absolutely counting on God to use my words for His glory. And then I realize that I should do that no matter how much time I'm able to put into a message! 

Dear God, create in my heart and mind an attitude of utter dependence on you and your Spirit to move through my every action and word...no matter how much thought I've put into them. I'm givin' you all I got tonight...give me that Ephesians 6:10 power. 

ARR

Here we go!

I love all sorts of blogs. Whether on ministry, life, travels, or even education; blogs are great. And with this post I let the world know that I, too, am throwing my hat into the ring.

Wow, this is getting a little too dramatic.

I wanted to have a place to let out my ministry philosophies and gather others who are called to this joy known as Jr. High Ministry.